Reply To: Love

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On Anonymous wrote:

The more things I see in my daily life and how I am not satisfied with certain things and a certain someone, absolutely! This is where it gets me confused. If we were to say my husband is my soul mate, than why I am dissatisfied with his behavior/ the point of I don’t want it/him in my life anymore. Or maybe I am just talking myself into those feelings, but there are definitely some things that need to be taken care of on his behalf that he won’t do, and I have pointed these things out and with good reason, but to not listen and continue is just really fucking annoying. I would spill the beans on details, but then everyone would probably be like WTF? Why are you still with him? love?? I don’t want to have a broken family with a potential for a part time daddy, which he is anyway even living in the house. I had a shitty upbringing with my parents divorcing when I was in 3rd grade and my father was never around-too caught up with friends, sex, & drugs, and my mother was just a friend instead of a parent.
So my oldest son has stated he doesn’t like him at all. I’m gonna say he has his reasons for that. My hubby always seems pissed off at him and seems to want him out of the house asap…and he (son) says he doesn’t think dad likes him. And I would have to agree with that statement from what I see and hear.
Let’s clear this up though..he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t cheat on me, so that’s all fine and dandy, but he doesn’t spend quality time with his children, glued to the tv, (told me he’s not influenced by television-yeah right) has 3 boys and doesn’t attempt to take them outside to play catch or anything for that matter or teach them anything, but how to watch tv, drink beer,sleep, and fuck it smoke weed.
That’s what his life revolves around is work,tv,sex,beer,sports,sleeping,friends and weed…put it this way I have talked to him numerous times about our finances and how buying the shit continues to take away from important things like fix things up in the home, car maintenance, children expenses, entertainment $, and just living period. Now I don’t make the $$ so i really don’t have much of a say on it, but to indulge on his selfish wants and everyone else here has to pay the price, that’s bullshit. If he cared he would stop so we can move forward in our life. To watch someone just waste away like that is so heart breaking. It’s not particularly good for the kids, but like I said I don’t want a broken home, My son was trying to smoke weed at 11 years old..I guess my husband is a shitty role model here for my boys..
and my 8 year old is aware of his habit according to my oldest. He always kicks the children out of the family room so he can smoke-which is about every 2 hours when he is off work…
I have tried asking him to do it outside or stop or take his ass upstairs, but he never listens, but after 9 years of being married to this and nothing changing, I guess I need to buy a vowel :)
and there is a ton more, but ugh I have had about enough of this today….
so if he is my soul mate-what good is he to me except for me realizing that I don’t want this shit in my life, not much I can do when I refuse to pay child care prices these days for crap ass service. And why work to pay someone to watch my child when I can do it myself….so I am stuck in this until my youngest gets in school. 3 more years seems so long, but yet I have done it for this long already
and if I am his soul mate why hasn’t anything chimed in yet for him?
the journey continues