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Forum: Philosophical Forum

Topic: Long-distance Relationships

This topic contains 32 replies, has 5,131 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of anonymous Anonymous 9 years ago.

On confuciousconfusing wrote:

Can they work, do they work? Aside from the distance, what’s the real difference?

Wouldn’t it be swish to meet someone like-minded from another country?

The time apart before meeting is good to learn about each other, moreso than meeting in a Pub/Bar.

There’s the anticipation of first meeting, you’d possibly value the together time better, plus the time apart strengthens the bond and paves way for future meetings.

You’re able to travel more, do more, see more, etc.

I was once engaged to a New Yorker after this 3.5 year build-up, we’d been Penpals for around 11 months prior. Yeah, she ended up being too scared for the wedding and blamed me, yet I sure as hell tried to do all I could! We remained friends afterwards, but I’ve always been resentful and it took years to \"move on.\"

It appears women don’t handle these things as well as men, going on those I’ve seen… You hadn’t been together before meeting, so why’s the long distance so difficult once couples are an item?

Could you do it?

I’ve never seen the big deal on distances and I’d always fallen for people I can’t have, even though we were clearly connected. Life’s cruel way, but then those Shrooms were always a problem. :)

Tough, or easy?

Made a huge decision this year myself: I’ll stay single or be with someone special, I’m not dating people out of convenience.

On the downer there’s often financial implications, sometimes Visas and such, lots of hidden and potential problems.

That’s my muse in short, just genuinely interested to hear other people’s opinions on this part of life…

:)

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Well Dazey wouldn’t this fall back on the love aspect? If love is there, then love overcomes all obstacles right? I once was with someone that moved to Florida and then I made a dumb decision and moved there with him when I was 18-I thought it was love-of course he was never around much. Supposedly working late, He was at the bar with his boss…
Absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder.
So I guess if the true love is there in the relationship it could work out.
Seeing new places, cultures, new adventures could be what the heart needs….
Or I am just an optimistic sucker :)
But why wouldn’t anyone want the butterflies that accompany the waiting to see the person you love. Isn’t that the feeling we all want all the time with the person we love? Do we keep the relationship alive with adventure? And what if the other is not up for adventure?

and yup you take on some one else’s debt when you tie the knot and that sucks, unless there’s a prenup…

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Apparently, \"love conquers all.\"

Despite life’s infinite knock-backs, I believe it’s good to be an optimistic sucker! What’s interesting to me is how no matter what, when ya love someone, no obstacle seems too much. Life’s most powerful emotion, perhaps…

Zwan: \"Desires, fade away.\" As you say, Reggles, the butterflies are definitely an awesome part of it all imho. Without that the song becomes true.

Taking marriage as another example, I don’t see the problem with that either in itself, until that ugly money thing enters the mix once again. Scared of marriage, I’ll never understand why, although I don’t care whether it ever happened to me or not.

Back on-track though: It’s the magic that makes it for me, I feel after my experiences now that a local attraction just wouldn’t last. Jaded or honest, who’s to ever judge. :)

Profile photo of bullettwoutbutterflywings
Member
On bullettwoutbutterflywings wrote:

i have never really had a long distance relationship, so i wouldn’t know about any of it, but i think if the two people want to be together in a relationship, it can work till they are able to be together in the same place. that is if they both want it to work.

"shiny, let's be bad guys"--jayne cobb-the hero of canton
Profile photo of Shannen
Member
On Shannen wrote:

Long distance relationship is possible when we are living in this era with every house having at least a Mr. Puter. We get connected and interacted with each others in a second with just a few clicks away.

And most of the friends and acquaintances that I came across got hooked-up with their soul mate through the cyberspace. And I’m one of them too.

When we have finally met, it was really awkward to be with someone you have never met before and only interacted through the chat program. And having to deal with the bad behaviours/ habits, the culture differences, it almost killed the two of us because the relationship was like an egg at the edge of the rock.

What make it worst was we only spend like 6-8 weeks in a year with a lot of travelling and that’s very costly too :-(. Honestly, the relationship was tough and we have been through ups and downs for the first two years but we are glad that we have improved and hope to celebrate many anniversary in the years to come.

I’m glad and dancing in joy for founding him. He has been there reaching his hand for me to help me getting out from that big dark hole that I have been living in for years. I wouldn’t be who I’m today if I didn’t let go my past.

Dazey, I hope you will find your special someone one day. And as the famous saying “Thing happen for a reason.” So don’t stop it and just follow the flows.

Cheers!

I am-Shannen-I exist!
Profile photo of amnesia
Member
On amnesia wrote:

i have never really had a long distance relationship, so i wouldn’t know about any of it, but i think if the two people want to be together in a relationship, it can work till they are able to be together in the same place. that is if they both want it to work.[/quote:3a5oc58w]

Thats also what i think.For me, i know for sure i could never fall in love with someone from the internet. Reason is i need that physical attraction from a person before falling in love.I could never get that from the internet.One of my male freinds found a girl via the internet and they are still together after 5 years and they got 2 kids as well.Guess it works for some people, but its nothing for me.

In loving memory of Bimbolin.
Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Seeing how swish things are with yourself and Arthur, S, just makes me even more positive towards things that many find ‘too much.’ :)

I suppose for me over the years, knowing somebody before seeing pics, etc., has always worked out far more rewarding.

In an ideal world I’d have been wired like mayonaise, sadly I just can’t seem to do anything in life the easier way. :D :roll:

\"Different strokes for different folks,\" as they say. 8)

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

I thought I’d better state for the record that I’m not a Manwhore looking around at hook-ups. People can sleep comfortably in this knowledge, plus I have no skills in Telepathy.

Although, be honest, am I setting my next dating goals too high?

Profile photo of blueczarina
Member
On blueczarina wrote:

Although, be honest, am I setting my next dating goals too high?[/quote:vnhzb8f8]

yes :lol: and ewwww- i don’t like her or her music.

Profile photo of Marcella
Member
On Marcella wrote:

Lol Avril XD.

I think it can work for some people- but I’m sure it’d never work for me. I’m a very physical person, as in I express myself by touching someone more than by talking. It’d be hard for me.

Fevrale dostat chernil i plakatPisat O Fevrale navsnrydPoka grohochushaya slyakotVesnoyu charnoyu gorit
Profile photo of amnesia
Member
On amnesia wrote:

Avril is kinda cute, but her music stinks. :?

In loving memory of Bimbolin.
Profile photo of Pipoka
Member
On Pipoka wrote:

Avril is kinda cute, but her music stinks. :?[/quote:2vgmlle8]

definately.

but she’s very pretty

Profile photo of manillascissor
Keymaster
On manillascissor wrote:

Lol Avril XD.

I think it can work for some people- but I’m sure it’d never work for me. I’m a very physical person, as in I express myself by touching someone more than by talking. It’d be hard for me.[/quote:ij6zue57]

For him too.

in my time of dying
Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Try to tell me what I shouldn’t do
You should know by now, I won’t listen to you
Walk around with my hands up in the air
Cause I don’t care

Cause I’m alright I’m fine
Just freak out let it go

I’m gonna live my life
I can’t ever run and hide I wont compromise cause I’ll never know
I’m gonna close my eyes
I can’t watch the time go by
I won’t keep it inside
Freak out let it go
Just freak out let it go

You don’t always have to do everything right
Stand up for yourself
And put up a fight
Walk around with your hands up in the air like you don’t care

Cause I’m alright I’m fine
Just freak out let it go

I’m gonna live my life
I can’t ever run and hide I wont compromise cause I’ll never know
I’m gonna close my eyes
I can’t watch the time go by
I won’t keep it inside
Freak out let it go.

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Isn’t there a song that starts out like that :wink:
Freak out
And give in
Doesn’t matter what you believe in

Profile photo of bullettwoutbutterflywings
Member
On bullettwoutbutterflywings wrote:

haha, i think i have heard that somewhere before, where was it now?

"shiny, let's be bad guys"--jayne cobb-the hero of canton
Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

I think it might be an SP song :lol:
I need clarification on that…lol

Profile photo of bullettwoutbutterflywings
Member
On bullettwoutbutterflywings wrote:

find out and let me know! :D

"shiny, let's be bad guys"--jayne cobb-the hero of canton
Profile photo of Arthur
Moderator
On Arthur wrote:

Funny, I named this site after the first lines of that song… 8)

http://www.spfreaks.com/Default.aspx?pa … 8&track=20

Billy Corgan, December 2, 2008 : "Not everyone understands our death trip. But you do. And that's what matters."
Profile photo of blueczarina
Member
On blueczarina wrote:

another site got their name from that song too. :wink:

Profile photo of Marcella
Member
On Marcella wrote:

My mother likes that song. But she likes everything with \"honey\" in it.

Now that I think of it, I think I’m currently in some sort of long-distance relationship…just I’ve been avoided the fact that it’s a relationship. And he isn’t. And he reminds me of it every single day. Fuck I’m just so scared of relationships….

Fevrale dostat chernil i plakatPisat O Fevrale navsnrydPoka grohochushaya slyakotVesnoyu charnoyu gorit
Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

wow nice to know blue :lol: SPfreaks is becoming quite popular…
and really the site name is from an SP song? Who knew? It can’t be the same song as those lyrics I posted earlier-can it? :lol: :wink:

Profile photo of Arthur
Moderator
On Arthur wrote:

another site got their name from that song too. :wink:[/quote:2qi7um8z]
Must be HipstersUnited then. :lol:

But yeah, this site is also linked to Cherub Rock. We are freaks here, either fan-wise or collecting-wise, and it’s the first word of the first song of Siamese Dream, my favourite album. How much more cross-reference do you want? So, 5 years ago I thought SPfreaks would be a pretty cool name… :wink:

Back to topic, I was in a long distance relationship also for almost 3 years with an Asian girl I met online, and I was not much into it either at first. But it happened based on some silly jokes that made me laugh, same music taste, few pics and then after about half a year my first visit to her. We had some issues to overcome, personality-wise & culture wise, but we are now living together for a month already. And so far I’m very glad I hold on to this relationship. We had to learn each other by talking instead of having physical contact, so the lusty part couldn’t influence the decisions too much… You get what I mean I guess. :wink:

Billy Corgan, December 2, 2008 : "Not everyone understands our death trip. But you do. And that's what matters."
Profile photo of Cool As Ice Cream
Moderator
On Cool As Ice Cream wrote:

Can they work, do they work? Aside from the distance, what’s the real difference?

Wouldn’t it be swish to meet someone like-minded from another country?

The time apart before meeting is good to learn about each other, moreso than meeting in a Pub/Bar.

There’s the anticipation of first meeting, you’d possibly value the together time better, plus the time apart strengthens the bond and paves way for future meetings.[/quote:2ekqiobt]
You are implying that a long-distance relationship involves getting to know each other online. That’s not always the case.

I’m in a long-distance relationship and it sucks because I want to live together and I really hope we can be in a couple of months.

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

I hope things go well, CAIC, good luck.

For myself, I finally decided to send some fresh Roses to Cameron Diaz.

After breaking up with Jared Leto (the other way round?), I just couldn’t resist. :?

Profile photo of Marcella
Member
On Marcella wrote:

I hope things go well, CAIC, good luck.

For myself, I finally decided to send some fresh Roses to Cameron Diaz.

After breaking up with Jared Leto (the other way round?), I just couldn’t resist. :?[/quote:rwhvvukj]

But Dazey, what about Avril?

Fevrale dostat chernil i plakatPisat O Fevrale navsnrydPoka grohochushaya slyakotVesnoyu charnoyu gorit
Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

Yes…god luck CAIC…

and Dazey..you get around don’t ya :wink:

Profile photo of blueczarina
Member
On blueczarina wrote:
I hope things go well, CAIC, good luck.

For myself, I finally decided to send some fresh Roses to Cameron Diaz.

After breaking up with Jared Leto (the other way round?), I just couldn’t resist. :?[/quote:a107x6ui]

But Dazey, what about Avril?[/quote:a107x6ui]

yeah Dazey :lol:

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

\"Mrs Lavigne’s busy and not taking calls.\"
\"I’m sorry, Mrs Lavigne doesn’t allowe her private number to be shared.\"

Charming. :roll:

Married, now? Didn’t bother telling me about it, how rude. Not taking calls? After all the Roses I sent, bah just lost interest. Playing \"hard to get\" I can understand, it was all too one-way though and the relationship was in trouble before it even started. :(

Cameron’s more likely to date me, so I’ve heard, I’m one of Europe’s finest slabs of ass.

We’ll see. :?

Profile photo of blueczarina
Member
On blueczarina wrote:

I’m one of Europe’s finest slabs of ass.[/quote:1k7ppayk]

OMG :lol:

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

^ That’s a direct quote from my last phone call with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

True story.

Profile photo of blueczarina
Member
On blueczarina wrote:

^ That’s a direct quote from my last phone call with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

True story.[/quote:padl41jj]

oh i see :wink: you seem to be pretty popular with these celebrity

Profile photo of anonymous
Member
On Anonymous wrote:

well he did say he resembles Noah Wyle… he must be foolin the ladies with that look… :P

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